I'm wallowing in a pathetic pool of self-doubt. I'm not thin and gaining weight, I'm ugly, I don't have an attracting personality, I don't have as much talent as I thought I did and everyone said I did, people lie to me to make me feel better, I'm confused and miserable and pathetic.

I can't trust anybody, not even myself, to tell me the truth! I see myself in the mirror, and I don't think it's that bad. And then I see a picture of myself, and want to die. So my eyes must be deceiving me. People say things, but are they only trying to make me feel better? I really don't know, and it's driving me insane. It seems like everyone's thinner, prettier, funnier, sweeter, bolder, braver, not so lost.

I really don't have as many friends as I thought I did, maybe everyone is getting tired of me!? I always ruin everything, and maybe I should just go into hibernation all summer and become an ugly loser that stays in every weekend and just becomes obese because no one cares about me and it really wouldn't even matter anymore. They don't want me to be with them, if I'm not invited, it means that they're trying to make a point that I'm not wanted in anyone's life. Everyone hates me.

I miss my friends.

Love, save the empty.